Mirroring & Labeling
Repeat key words; name emotions to defuse tension.
Explanation
Former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss developed these techniques for high-stakes situations. Mirroring means repeating someone's last few words as a question, which naturally makes them explain more. Labeling means identifying and naming the emotion you see, which helps defuse tension. Both techniques make people feel understood and encourage them to share more information.
Real-World Example
Them: 'The deadline is impossible!' Mirror: 'Impossible?' Them: 'Well, not impossible, but we'd need to cut features...' (Now you're problem-solving) Label: 'It sounds like you're overwhelmed by the scope.' Them: 'Yes! Finally someone gets it.' (Tension drops)
How to Apply
Mirror: Repeat last few words with upward inflection. Then silence. They'll elaborate. Works on phone especially. Label: 'It seems/sounds/looks like you're [emotion].' If wrong, they'll correct you—still useful. List multiple labels if unsure. Negative emotions lose power when labeled.