Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
Observe, Feel, Need, Request—without judgment.
Explanation
Created by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, this method helps you express frustration without attacking others. Instead of saying 'You always...' or 'You never...', you follow four steps: describe what happened (facts only), share how you feel, explain what you need, and ask for something specific. This approach turns arguments into problem-solving conversations.
Real-World Example
Violent: 'You never listen! You're so selfish!' NVC: 'When I see you on your phone while I'm talking (observation), I feel hurt (feeling) because I need to feel valued (need). Would you be willing to put your phone away during our conversations? (request)'
How to Apply
Observation: State facts a camera would record. No evaluation. Feeling: Use actual emotions (sad, scared, angry), not 'I feel that...' Need: Universal human needs (respect, safety, connection). Request: Specific, doable action. Not demand. If they say no, explore their needs.